Home > Laugh out Loud > Asking… Why did the Chicken Cross the road?

Asking… Why did the Chicken Cross the road?

I did not write this but my aunt forwarded this to me and I thought it was pretty funny.

SARAH PALIN:  Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
BARACK OBAMA:  The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change!  The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN:  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:  When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really isn’t about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road.  We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.  The chicken is either against us, or for us.  There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY:  Where’s my gun?
COLIN POWELL:  Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON:  I did not cross the road with that chicken.  What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:  I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!  It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions.  I am not for it now and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON:  Why are all the chickens white?  We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL:  The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE:  That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty!  You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:  To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA:  In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS:  Did I miss one?

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Categories: Laugh out Loud
  1. November 20, 2008 at 4:32 am

    That is hilarious. Had a good laugh when I needed it.

  2. November 27, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    lol! Good one!

  3. December 29, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    I love it! – Gab Iowa

  4. Neo
    January 17, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    SOME MORE:

    The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken: “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and God saw that it was good.

    Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads. It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

    Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

    Oliver Stone: The question is not “Why did the chicken cross the road?” but rather “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”

    The Pope: That is only for God to know.

    Martin Luther King Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
    An old Grandfather: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, although when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

    George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.

    Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
    Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

    Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

    Joseph Stalin: I don’t care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.

    O.J. Simpson: It didn’t. I was playing golf with it at the time.

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