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Happy 4th

july4th014_big.gifI did not have much time today to come up with much but thought I’d put up some July 4th jokes as some of you might be enjoying a hot dog and bear or two. they are rather lame but i weeded out the more dumb ones and left the ones you might enjoy after a few beers.

July 4th Jokes – Quickies!
 

What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?
“I gotta get a softer saddle!”

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry! 

What do you call a parade of German mercenaries?
A Hessian procession!

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!

What was General Washington’s favourite tree?
The infantry!

What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
Revo-lotion!

What would you get if you crossed a dog with the Father of Our Country?
George Washingtongue!

Who is a dogs favourite Founding Father?
Bone Franklin!

What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!

Which one of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humour?
Laughayette!

“How was the food at the Fourth of July picnic?
“The hot dogs were bad and the brats were wurst!”

What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?
“Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”

Teacher: “Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?”
Student: “Because his mom wouldn’t let him play with the chain saw!”

Teacher: “The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?”
Student: “False! It was written in ink!”

Why did Washington win the battle of Trenton?
Because the enemy soldiers were Hessian around!

Teacher: “Who wrote `Oh say, can you see?”‘
Student: “An eye doctor?”

What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?
The Ducklaration of Independence!

Why did the duck say “Bang!”?
Because he was a firequacker!

What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?
Paw Revere.

What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.”

What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!

Why were the early American settlers like ants?
Because they lived in colonies.

What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
John Hamcock!

What did George Washington say to his army at Valley Forge?
“Sorry, men. The flights to Florida are all booked up!”

What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?
A bald beagle!

What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?
A powdered wigwam!

What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic pickle!

What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
“Keep in torch!”

What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!

What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!

Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!

Author Unknown

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