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Rules of the House

One of my friends had this little PowerPoint show with these rules so I thought I’d post it here for all to read.

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:
Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!
1) Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that
1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1) Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
1) If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us
1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
1) Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1) We have no idea what mauve is.
1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1) If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
1) If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear
1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1) Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
 Sex,
 Sport, or
 Cars
1) You have enough clothes
1) You have too many shoes
1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. July 2, 2006 at 8:45 am

    this is fantastic. http://www.bethel.bvermont.com

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